


the sweet end

by thisandthisandthis



Category: Some Like It Hot (1959)
Genre: Bisexual Daphne, Bisexual Osgood, Bisexual Sugar, Canon Compliant, F/F, Gender Dysphoria, Happy Ending, Mild Transphobia, Trans Daphne, Trans Female Character, with a lil bit of rewriting in the ending scene
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-27
Updated: 2020-08-04
Packaged: 2021-02-23 10:03:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23876380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thisandthisandthis/pseuds/thisandthisandthis
Summary: daphne doesn’t want to go back to being jerry. sugar doesn’t want to go back to being with lying sax players. joe doesn’t want to go back to being on the run. osgood doesn’t want to go back to being alone.how lucky, that they all found each other.
Relationships: Jerry "Daphne" & Joe "Josephine", Jerry "Daphne" & Sugar Kane Kowalczyk, Jerry “Daphne” & Osgood Fielding III, Jerry “Daphne”/Sugar Kane Kowalczyk, Joe “Josephine” & Sugar Kane Kowalczyk
Comments: 4
Kudos: 16





	1. balance

**Author's Note:**

> hello lovely humans <3 some like it hot is one of my favorite movies & i just couldn’t resist writing an even happier ending for my loves :)
> 
> \- peach ([more fics](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thisandthisandthis/works) // [my tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/ezrisbian))

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> suddenly a new life stretches in front of these four, now that they’re out of danger. daphne isn’t quite sure what to make of that.

Daphne couldn’t do a thing but look at Osgood as though he were crazy.

The man wanted to marry her. Him. To go off together. Wanted to keep on kissing her. Him. To honeymoon in the Riviera. Wanted to be a husband. To have a husband?

She couldn’t think straight. Her fingers tightened in the blonde wig in her lap, and she was dimly aware of the cheery _put-put-put_ of the motorboat as it drew closer to the yacht. Osgood was humming next to her, one hand draped behind her seat, almost touching a shoulder. Daphne‘s body went rigid as she realized this. Suddenly nothing was familiar — not the man beside her, not Sugar in the backseat, not her best friend fussing with his own scratchy wig. The situation seemed so unbearably complicated. She wished it weren’t.

The water churned about them, gentle and blue. Daphne took a stuttering breath and tried desperately to calm her pounding heart. She didn’t know what she wanted — from Osgood, from herself, from anyone. For some reason, figuring this out seemed even more terrifying than running from the gun-wielding mafia men. She couldn’t duck into a corner to avoid this; she couldn’t hide in sunglasses and a suit to remain unseen. No, this was running circles in her head like an overplayed song. A question begging for an answer. But Daphne wasn’t even sure what it was asking.

It had been precisely four seconds since Osgood’s calm acceptance of Daphne’s... well, Jerry’s, manhood. There had since been no correction on his part. No backing out. No rethinking. Just a smile — that same goddamn smile.

A hesitant sense of relief was settling in Daphne’s chest, along with a strange feeling of uneasiness. She had finally come clean. So why did she feel like it still wasn’t the truth? There was something inside her that begged to be articulated. Begged to be known. Begged to be called _Daphne_ and _she_ and _pretty_.

It was terrifying, to say the least.

Behind her and Osgood, Sugar was clinging to Josephine’s arm, looking at a loss for words. Daphne didn’t know what had gone on between the two of them in her absence. To her knowledge, Sugar had no clue that Josephine was in fact the “millionaire” man who had left her.

“Look, Sugar, there’s something I need to tell you too,” Josephine said in a quiet voice.

Sugar, eyes like glass in the sunlight, was evidently still reeling from Daphne’s — or, rather, Jerry’s admission. But she didn’t seem to connect the two. Instead, she turned to Josephine, worried.

“Josie, don’t worry. I just need a moment to wrap my head around this. But I don’t care that you’re a woman — I still find that I want to be with you.”

Daphne started at this admission, confused. What the hell had happened between the two of them? For his part, Joe looked almost alarmed as he gripped Sugar’s hand in his own. His voice dropped to its usual timbre and, exasperated, he tore off his wig. “No, you don’t understand. I’m a man. I’m — I’m Junior! The man you love!”

Sugar’s eyes widened. “You’re a millionaire?”

“No, I’m just... I’m just a normal guy. Will you still have me? As I am?”

She seemed lost, eyes flickering to everyone in the small boat, as though one of them would reach out to reveal that she was a man too.

“But then how do you... you have a yacht?”

Joe looked as though he were about to explode. “It‘s Osgood’s yacht! Okay? Now will you have me or not?”

She smiled, a tentative, soft smile. “Alright.”

Joe beamed, a cracking fire of a grin, and kissed her squarely on the mouth. She huffed a little laugh and when he pulled away she suddenly looked as though she didn’t know where she was or who she was with.

Daphne, strangely, felt the same.

The motorboat reached the yacht and puttered to a stop. Osgood stood and reached out a hand to Daphne, helping her up with a comic smile. The man was always grinning, like he had been told a joke — it was, to be honest, off-putting. She smiled back and stepped onto the yacht, followed by Osgood, Sugar, and finally Joe. The motorboat docked, they stood watching the waves as Osgood left to assemble his crew.

The three of them were suddenly alone on the deck, and suddenly very quiet. Daphne couldn’t tell what Sugar was thinking. Frankly, she didn’t even know what she herself was thinking.

It was over, and they were safe. Spats was dead. The mafia men would never be able to leave the hotel in anything but the back of a police car, not after that trick they pulled with the cake. There were no more threats — it was going to be okay. Daphne told herself this a thousand times in her head. It was going to be okay. It was going to be okay.

“This is it,” Joe said, already shrugging out of his women’s clothes with a faint look of disgust. “We’re safe.”

Sugar sighed. “You are both men?” she asked, still incredulous. “Why... why did you...?”

“Long story,” Joe said, placing his hand gently on the small of Sugar’s back. She smiled a bit uneasily and glanced up at Daphne. “We were... in some trouble with some guys. Dangerous guys. We saw ‘em bump some guys off, and...” Joe trailed off as Sugar’s face registered understanding. She was brighter than she gave herself credit for.

“A disguise,” she murmured. “And you ran away, to stay safe. So what — what are your names?” She looked almost shy, gazing up at Daphne through her lashes as though she was looking at a stranger.

”Joe. And he’s Jerry,” Joe said, loudly.

Sugar nodded. “Jerry,” she said softly, rolling the name on her tongue like a lollipop.

And Daphne felt like she had been punched in the gut.

The feeling terrified her. It almost literally threw her off her balance — a physical feeling, like nausea, that something was horribly wrong. She caught herself and forced her breath to steady. What the hell was wrong with her? Jerry, Jerry, Jerry. _This is your name._ The man who didn’t want to become a woman. _This is your body._ The man who hated his first moments in a skirt and heels. _This is your mind._ The man who swore that women were a whole different sex. _These are your thoughts._ When would she get that man back? Could she, if she tried hard enough? Did she want to? Did she want to?

Daphne’s chest tightened as she came to a realization. She liked being a woman.

Yes. She liked it.

She liked the dresses and the wig. The soft blonde hair. The silk against her thighs. She liked the pinkish lipstick. The way her lashes felt heavy with mascara, the way powder made her skin smooth. The delicate touch of lace. The whisper of a skirt. She liked it all.

But did that make her a woman? Just because she thought it was exciting?

No, not exciting. It was almost the opposite — it felt like home.

The truth was that Daphne didn’t only like the way she looked as a woman. She liked the way people saw her. She liked the _she_. And she liked Daphne a great deal better than she liked Jerry. Everything was reversed and it was good and refreshing and comfortable. She didn’t want to go back. She wanted to find a balance — a balance between her male self and the exaggerated persona she adopted when she was pretending. Maybe that would be the real her.

Maybe that would be.

It had been precisely four seconds since Sugar learned Jerry’s name. That name did not belong to Daphne. She watched Sugar carefully as Daphne untangled her wig from her fingers and settled it back on her head. Joe looked at her as if she was insane. Sugar quirked an eyebrow.

“Daphne’s fine, actually,” she said, and her lungs swelled with fresh, cool air.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1920’s slang in this chapter:  
> \- bump off (to kill)
> 
> I will update this soon :)


	2. anywhere, anywhere

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sugar understands something about her best friend. and something about herself as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sugar. is. a. trans. ally. and u cant take that away from me <3 this kinda turned into angst idk how?? but here it is haha
> 
> cw for mild transphobia, deadnaming, etc. joe doesn’t get it :(

At first, Sugar just didn’t understand. But the more she thought about it, the more it seemed that it wasn’t a big deal at all, and in fact was painfully simple.

Daphne wanted to stay Daphne. That was alright.

Alright.

Joe, on the other hand, was staring quizzically at his friend. “Whaddya mean, Jerry?”

Daphne shrank back, almost imperceptibly. “I mean. I mean that I’m gonna keep wearing this wig.” She was shaking all over, like a leaf in the wind. Sugar could see it. Joe seemed to be too caught up to notice. He opened his mouth, as if to protest, like that was going to change Daphne’s mind.

“It’s pretty,” Sugar floundered. “And that dress, too. Just berries.” She wasn’t sure why, but she had a sudden strange urge to protect Daphne from anything Joe might say. “I... if you fancy, I can show you how to do makeup.” She reached out and took Daphne’s hand. Squeezed, gently.

Hand tightening on Sugar’s waist, Joe’s gaze flickered between the two of them, bewildered. “What are you talking about? Jerry, we’re alright now. Thought you’d be jumping to get that off.” He gestured vaguely to Daphne’s clothing.

“Thought I might keep it on for a while.” Daphne shrugged nonchalantly, but her eyes were wild and scared.

“What, just because you met some rich fella and got insured, you want to pretend to be a woman?” Joe began to laugh until he saw the expression on Daphne’s face. “Or. You’re serious, huh.”

Daphne fidgeted, uncomfortable. Lost.

Sugar felt her brow crease in concern. “Daph, let’s go inside,” she said. The three of them were still on deck; the wind was picking up. Daphne looked as though she would rather be anywhere. Anywhere except for with Joe, right then.

This suggestion, however, did quite the opposite of what Sugar wanted.

“Oh, now I get it, Jerry!” Joe exploded, glaring daggers at Daphne. “You’re trying to vamp my doll, huh? I knew you liked her from the day we started this whole thing. But this — this thing you’re trying, it’s not gonna work, old boy.” He was laughing, almost hysterically, at that point. “You of all people should know what it took to get here.”

“You lied to her,” Daphne muttered, refusing to make eye contact with either Joe or Sugar. “About everything. Sugar, you hardly know him.”

Sugar froze, suddenly feeling targeted and naked. Did she know Joe? Really know him? She knew Josephine, who was sweet and understanding; she knew Junior, who was elusive and sensual; they excited her, filled her with new feelings and promised new experiences. But what about Joe? Was he a mix of the two personas, or someone different altogether? Sugar couldn’t bear to think that she might be giving herself over to a stranger.

Or worse — someone familiar — someone she’d loved throughout the years, different faces but the same ending to the story. Oh, God, she had promised herself that she would remain wary of saxophone players. She had promised herself that she would stop getting into situations she knew would only hurt her in the end.

This, she knew. This would turn out to be one of them. No matter how sweet Joe was, how many times he promised to stick around. Daphne was right — he lied to her, and expected her not to care at all. The scary part was that at first, she didn’t care.

_Sugar, it’s time you take care of yourself._

“Joe, Daph’s right. I don’t know if I can —“

“Sugar, for God’s sake! How do I get you to understand that I love you?” Joe looked incredulous, almost desperate — it scared her. Suddenly he was gripping at her fingers and it hurt, it hurt. She pulled away.

“Could... could I finish?”

“I wanna marry you, Sugar. You gotta understand that.”

“You hardly know me.”

“But I love you, still.”

“I hardly know you. I _don’t_ know you.”

Joe was silent. He turned, slow, burning with anger, to Daphne. “This is your goddamn fault. I don’t know what you’re trying here. But it’s not funny.”

Daphne shrunk back. Sugar studied her face, and saw that she was close to tears. She was terrified in that moment. Of Joe. Of whatever he might do. Of what this meant for the future. Sugar knew she wasn’t bright, but she could sure read someone’s face to tell what they were feeling. Daphne was lost.

She placed a hand on Joe’s arm and cut in before he could speak. “Daphne didn’t do a thing,” she said. “I promise it’s all me. I just don’t want to be with you anymore. You’re a darling friend, Joe, but I don’t want a man right now.”

Joe sighed and, finally, the anger inside him seemed to deflate. He looked ashamed. “Right, alright.”

Daphne looked at him, and Sugar looked at Daphne.

“Jerry, I... I gotta talk to you.”

Daphne nodded. “Okay.”

“...or Daphne now, is it.” He gave her a halfhearted smile. “I guess... I guess, just help me understand.”

“Okay.”

She gave Sugar a little grin, looked back to Joe, and motioned the three of them inside the cabin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1920s slang in this chapter:  
> \- berries (perfect, great)  
> \- insured (engaged)  
> \- to vamp (to seduce)


	3. learning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> joe learns a few things. one of them being that understanding comes with time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cw for some transphobic/ignorant language. joe is trying to understand daphne’s identity, and i wanted to depict his understanding process with as much truth as possible.
> 
> i also want to make it abundantly clear that trans people have no obligation to explain themselves or justify their identity to others. in this chapter, daphne makes the incredibly personal choice to explain her process to joe. that is in no way a requirement for coming out as transgender — just a choice that some choose to make <3

Osgood’s yacht was cutting steadily and gracefully through the water, on its way to who knows where. For Joe’s part, he didn’t quite care where they were going, as long as there would be no more of that “running away from certain death in six inch heels” business.

There was something new to wrap his head around, though. His best friend was saying strange things. Things that didn’t add up. Not in Joe’s head, anyway. He supposed that he should say _Daphne_ now, if that’s what he — she — wanted to be called. And the pronouns, that was really an odd thing. Did Daphne want to be a woman? To just... stay that way? It was such a foreign concept to Joe that he had trouble coming up with the words to articulate it. All that he knew, really, was that he wanted his best friend to be happy. Regardless of whether or not he understood the reasons why.

And then there was the complicated matter of Sugar. Joe did love her. He loved kissing her, and the feeling of her soft skin under his hands, and the gentle lilt of her voice, and the sigh of her hair between his fingertips. But the things that she had said were beginning to make sense to him — was that even love at all? Could it really be love, if you hardly knew the person at all?

Daphne whistled as the three of them entered the cabin. “Boy, Osgood’s really puttin’ on the ritz out here,” she said. She looked almost at a loss for what to do, surrounded by velvet draperies and luxurious divans and things decorated with pearls and gold and silk. The yacht was impressive, of course. For the first time, Joe looked around and appreciated it. He hadn’t quite had the chance to do so the other night, when he’d been pretending to be familiar with the place. It was refreshing to be able to stop pretending. Finally. Even with the small things.

“Isn’t it lovely?” Sugar draped herself across one of the couches and smiled contentedly. “Osgood’s a hell of a fella to let us run off with him like this.”

“He thinks I’m gonna marry him,” Daphne said. A laugh seemed to get stuck in her throat before it could form.

“Well, are you?” Joe sat down across from Sugar and watched as Daphne paced the length of the room. “He seems goofy to me. Despite...” he gestured vaguely in Daphne’s direction. “You know.”

She paused and folded her hands together nervously. “Joe, I want to explain myself to you.”

“...Okay.” He shifted, and listened.

“I don’t wanna go back, y’know,” she began, vaguely. She perched anxiously on the arm of the couch, next to Sugar, who smiled encouragingly. “I don’t wanna go back to _Jerry_ , I guess. I don’t miss him. I don’t really miss the person I used to be. And now, after having been Daphne for so long... he feels forced and awkward. It’s like I never really _was_ him in the first place. It doesn’t make sense, I know. But for some reason...” her voice trailed away and she turned her gaze to her lap.

Joe shouted internally at his brain to catch up. He wanted so badly to understand.

“But you’ve still got... y’know,” his mouth blurted, and he waved towards Daphne’s lower half. “How can you be a woman?”

She chewed a fingernail and glanced around the room. “I guess it’s different than that. I don’t know. If you woke up with bubs one day would you suddenly wanna start going by Josephine? I guess it’s different.”

Joe contemplated this for a few heavy seconds.

“...Uhm,” he said, “I’m not sure if I get it.”

“Alright. That’s alright.” And all of a sudden, Daphne looked very, very tired.

“But you’re my best friend. So I’m gonna keep trying, okay?”

A smile started to tug easily at her lips. “Okay,” she said. “Okay.”

Sugar squeezed her hand, and Joe gave her a wink, and somehow, they all knew that things would turn out fine.

There was a look in Sugar’s eyes — something soft and sweet as the whisper of ocean air outside as she gazed up at Daphne. Joe gathered his strength and stood up. “I’m going to go see Osgood, if you... if you ladies don’t mind.”

“See ya, Joe,” Sugar said with a grin, and gave him little salute. He chuckled and returned the gesture. Then, with a sad sort of smile to himself, he left.

Things would clear up if he let them. _Joe,_ he told himself, _you need to relax and let life happens the way it wants to._

And he would.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1920s slang in this chapter:  
> \- putting on the ritz (doing something in high style)  
> \- goofy (in love)  
> \- bubs (breasts)
> 
> wlw content next chapter i promise <3


	4. nothing but honey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> daphne is scared. sugar is too. but they’re both brave, and that’s what matters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im back !! if anyone is actually following this fic i am back!! i had like 4 months of writers block & a complete lack of energy to continue Any of my fics, and i kinda still do, but im now pushing myself. wish me luck & enjoy this chapter :)

Now that Daphne was alone with Sugar, she didn’t know what to say. Her mouth felt dry and stupid, her tongue heavy with thoughts she didn’t know how to express. And Sugar, well, Sugar was like the sun next to her, beaming at her, beautiful and terrifying and bright, with a perfect white smile, and Daphne thought that she might go blind if she looked her in the eyes.

There was something so daunting about giving voice to the ache in her fluttering chest.

“Daph, love,” Sugar said, leaning conspiratorially towards her, “are you really gonna marry Osgood?”

“I don’t know.” Daphne shrugged and slid down to sit next to Sugar on the couch. “He’s nice enough. He’s rich. And he doesn’t mind that I...” she sighed and gestured to her body. “But it doesn’t feel right.”

She nodded wisely. “That’s alright. He’s a decent guy, he’ll get it.”

“I hope so.”

It was quiet for a few moments, and Daphne listened to the whir of the engine, the soft slap of the waves against the sides of the yacht.

“...Sugar, didja mean what you said to Joe?” Daphne said eventually.

“Hm?” The other woman shook herself out of her thoughts and looked up at Daphne. “Yeah, I meant it. I don’t want to be with him. I... I’m glad you helped me see that.”

“No, that’s... that’s not what I meant.” Daphne fidgeted. “You said to him, you said that you wanted to be with him, even when he... when he was Josie.”

“Oh,” said Sugar in a quiet puff of air. “Yes, I did, didn’t I.”

Daphne held her breath.

“I suppose you’re not the type to find that strange, are you?” Sugar laughed nervously. “I just... well, when Joe kissed me, earlier, he was all dolled up as Josie. And I didn’t mind. Oh, I was surprised, of course, but I didn’t really mind.” A question stuck in Daphne’s throat. She couldn’t build up the courage to let it out. “‘Course I don’t do that, kissing dames,” Sugar continued. “Didn’t know it was something I _could_ do. Though I suppose it’s not so strange. Men sure can be flat tires anyway. They’re just swell, but sometimes, I can hardly talk to them. With people like you, though, Daph, it’s never punching the bag, ya know? Gosh, sorry, I’m rambling.”

“‘S alright,” Daphne said, and it came out as a broken whisper. “Do you... do y’think it would be wrong, for me to feel the same way?” She watched Sugar’s hands fold together in her lap.

“I don’t think it’s wrong,” said Sugar.

And those words, for a moment, were all that mattered.

Sugar smiled tentatively at Daphne, her eyes bright and sea-blue, her teeth lined up perfectly like pearls on a string. “I don’t think I liked Josie that way, though. She was made up. But you’re not.”

“I’m not,” Daphne echoed, her heart rattling and banging like a drum inside her chest.

“Daph, do you know what I’m saying?”

“I, I hope so.”

“I think we should try something out,” Sugar said and put a hand on Daphne’s knee. Her voice was shaking a bit, but she smiled. “If you want. I... I do like you. And I know it’s not normal like this, but neither are we, huh?”

Her voice was soft like caramel, and Daphne wanted nothing more than to lean in and taste it. This thought struck her very suddenly and without warning. Her hands twitched in her lap; she tried to steady her breathing.

“Say something, would you?”

Sugar’s hand began to inch off of Daphne’s leg, nervous, and that just wouldn’t do, so Daphne reached out and snatched it in her own. “I want...” she started, her heartbeat thundering in her own ears.

“I want to be with you, the way we’d be together if I was still Jerry.”

Sugar’s grip on Daphne’s hand tightened, as her mouth, pink as the morning, broke out into a beautiful grin. “Daph,” she breathed. “I’d like that.”

Then suddenly and slowly, as if in a dream, Sugar was kissing her, all nervous lips and fluttering fingers, and everything else ceased to exist except for the mingling scents of their perfume.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1920s slang in this chapter:  
> \- dolled up (dressed up)  
> \- flat tire (a bore)  
> \- punching the bag (making small talk)

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! comments and kudos are always appreciated <3
> 
> em hotep xx
> 
> \- peach ([more fics](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thisandthisandthis/works) // [my tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/ezrisbian))


End file.
